Racoony where are you?

Commitment

2007-05-12T17:09:00.000-04:00

How do you know when a man is truly committed to you? Is it when he begins to spend inordinate amounts of time with you? Or when he presents you with a diamond ring & a desire to spend his life with you? Perhaps it's when he makes those marriage vows...surely that's commitment.

No folks, it's when he approaches you to ask if you would consider merging your blogs into one.

It's a little scary..I mean..what will it look like? Will little racoony get lost trying to swim in the crockpot's waters (like how i finally learned how to do that?)? Or perhaps twocent will feel obligated to start using capital letters his titles...yes, it's a leap of faith folks. But as with most things in life, well worth the risk. If a relationship is not legitimate until it's categorized on facebook...then what does matrimonial blogging do for you? Only time will tell.

So, with that, I bid you adieu little racoony. Perhaps I'll see you again someday, but now, it's time to move on...I can't sleep with a stuffed animal forever. You can find the Burns family over at The Daily Burns. Look forward to seeing you there.

Growing Up

2007-05-02T14:17:00.000-04:00

I don't really have time to put much thought into this post, but I'm sure if i don't put something it will never to actually make it out of my head. I will be vague on the off-chance the person I talked to about this actually read this blog...which I seriously doubt. Anyhow, I recently overheard the following comment when this person was explaining why college students were walking around with balloon animals & face-paint:

they've finally figured us (college students) out. They've got a bouncy house, face paints, balloons, balloon animals.....we just want to have fun like little kids.

Ok, that might not be verbatim, but it's pretty close. I myself would enjoy some time in a bouncy house & having my face painted....however, I'm not sure what that says about our society...or me...that not only would the school (or some company trying to sell something? i don't know why they were on campus) would have the thought, "how about we set up something like a birthday party for a 5 year old? I bet the 18-25 year old students would love that" ...& they did. I could go on about how our college experience (& i do mean OUR..as in how mine was) really fosters a lazy, "just hang out & have fun" attitude, but i will spare you. Mix all that together with the idea that you need to be at least 28 to be "mature" enough for marriage (another rabbit trail i will try to refrain from....that we have to be mature for marriage instead of marriage being an agent to mature us). But at the same time we all expect to somehow be millionaire's or have some profound impact on society before we're 30.

Not sure how that's supposed to happen if we're trying to relive our child-hood during the years we should be learning, training, & pressing through character-developing situations......

Grief

2007-04-27T07:07:00.000-04:00

As I rarely ever update this page & have not even really settled on the "purpose" of my blog...I never did mention or update the incredibly difficult & life-changing journey my dear friends Robert & Erin Greene have been on since january....& even now I am at a loss for words to express my grief & all the thoughts & emotions rolling around regarding dear Owen. Just as on monday I thought I would burst at the expectation of getting to meet the little guy, I still feel that way. I am so grateful that His parents got to meet him & have that precious time together. I am full of expectation of getting to do so as well..... I have no profound understanding of Heaven, & I assume I'll be wrapped up in God, but I do expect to meet him. Beyond that, details have been beautifully & prayerfully explained on Robert's blog, which can be accessed through Ryan's blog (the twocent link the the right), as I still have yet to learn how to put links in my messages (sorry). I would also like to comment that my heart echo's my husband's thought's of our dear friends & our Lord Jesus Christ.....Solo Deo Gloria.

Running the race set before me

2007-04-06T15:01:00.000-04:00

For those of you who I did not mention this to, I ran the annual “Monument Ave 10k” (http://sportsbackers.org/) on March 31. My dad came down & ran it with me. I originally decided to do it in December merely as in incentive to keep me jogging/exercising to lose my “baby fat”. I need goals. So I jumped in & registered. The scary part was that I knew I would kick myself if I stopped to walk, but when I registered, I was not able to finish 1 mile, let alone 6.2. Really. Not to mention the last time I ranin an actual race was my freshman year of high school…in 1994. Then in January Ryan surprised me with a membership to Gold’s Gym for my birthday. That was awesome, since they have child-care I could go work out regularly without trying to fit it into his schedule (hard to work out with kids climbing on you…& I don’t have or want a jogging stroller). Anyhow, the race was INCREDIBLE. not to brag but....well...ok, bragging....I ran it in 1:08:34. I realize that’s not any kind of record for..anyone, but for someone who couldn’t jog 1 mile before wanting to puke 4 months prior, not too shabby. My dad finished at 1:08:35. lol. he could've beat me by at LEAST 10 minutes, likely 20, but he kept pace with me the whole way & at the end I forgot to warn him that I was going to sprint to the finish, so caught him off guard. I thought i was going to throw up & my body felt like it was going to give out but when i saw how close i was I just got the banner in my sights & took off. it felt REALLY good. I can only imagine how slow i was actually going but it did FEEL fast. I really enjoy finishing races with a sprint. exhilarating. I've been training on a treadmill which is quite boring & since i'm stubborn (or determined depending on how you look at it) I only run one pace, I refused to slow down, so basically the longest i went in the gym was 4 miles & only did that twice & just barely made that. I think i averaged about 2.5 miles regularly. Needless to say i was quite nervous about 6.2 however running with my dad & talking with him was great, then on top of that there were so many people on the side with posters & cheering ect. they also had bands at (seemingly) every mile playing for the crowds & the camaraderie among the runners was incredible. we slowed to talk with a few people before passing them. it was such a social thing. I didn't even feel uncomfortable until mile 5 & then the crowds started getting bigger & i started really getting into the cheering. everytime we passed people cheering or bands we'd always put our hands up or clap & say "woo hoo", & slap little kids' hands as we ran by. Kinda felt silly (not everyone was as enthusiastic as my dad & I so to be honest, we were probably dorky), but it was just too fun. I also had some great conversations with my dad (mostly him talking as with his hearing problems he couldn't hear me so well).

my top 3 favorite posters were "was that a bolt of lightning or was that my grandad running by?", "nice legs", & "runners are sexy"

we totally yelled out, "thanks!"

so all day today i've been thinking about it in light of the book I just finished reading ("when life & beliefs collide” by Carolyn Custis James). It’s a book about why women need good theology. It’s geared toward women, but of course everyone needs good theology, so I would recommend it to men as well. She gets into some gender issues at the end that I’m not sure how I feel about….but a good book nonetheless.

In the book she often uses the race analogy. & it's all i could think about the day after the race. not only about the idea of pushing past the pain & even using your "training" when you hit hard spots (theology being your training, tough life circumstances for hard spots)....for example, i started to get a cramp in the second mile (weird since i NEVER got cramps while training) & my gut reaction is to breathe shallow, tense up & clamp down on the cramped spot. In one of the “pre-race” emails updates sportsbackers sent out, it said you should do slow deep breathing & shake out your arms & neck & do your best to relax everything. easy to say, but in the moment not what i'm thinking to do. However i did after a second do just that & almost immediately it went away. James says we're like that with our theology, we've learned who God is & that He loves us & works for our good, but in the moment, our instinct is to dispair & think he's either out to get us, forgotten about us, or doesn't love us. anyway, that wasn't the big thing i got out of the race. it was the "family-ness". that we're in the race together. there were thousands of people in that race (over 20,000). even though i felt like i was going to throw up on the drive in b/c of being nervous, once i got in the starting corral, it all left. there were soo many people. we weren't racing each other. we were racing the clock, our minds, our bodies. so we'd encourage one another, cheer each other on. Some people who finished would run back up the sidewalk for the last mile to encourage us to keep going that we were so close. & honestly, if it weren't for that i would've stopped at mile 5. that's when my body hurt & my brain starting saying things like "you can't do this, you can't breathe anymore". but i knew i was close & i knew THEY had finished & while they were obviously in better shape, I still was encouraged & it kept me going. & the "cloud of witnesses" (ha ha) really empowered me. I wasn't afraid to stop in front of them, i wouldn't be embarrassed, but they were just so encouraging i COULDN'T stop. i just don't remember feeling that kind of community with strangers in a sporting event. maybe in elementary school when i was on the swim team....but only with MY teammates’ parents. it was like having thousands of teammates.

I'm already pumped for next year. glad to not HAVE to run for awhile, but i'll def. do it next year. my dad said he wants to as well. we both emailed each other the day after, that we think we can shoot for under an hour for next year. i'm pleased w/my time, seeing as how in december when i started i couldn't run ONE mile, but i think i can do better. it will be fun. so ya'll should TOTALLY do it next year. God is good. it seems so strange that something generally not fun, could be so very enjoyable. i really did feel the "pleasure of God" like the guy quoted in that movie pastor doug talks about (10 pts to anyone who can name it).

....it may have sparked a new addiction.

sore almost like never before

2007-04-03T13:14:00.000-04:00

Now that the 10k is over (post about that coming soon) i didn't have to run at the gym yesterday. So, I decided to take a class. I did a class called "solid weight training". It's Gold's Gym's....thing. I guess all Gold's do it. Here's how the website describes it,

A non-aerobic workout that utilizes barbells, dumbbells, and resistance bands to strengthen, tone, and define all muscles in the body like nothing else.

It's an hour long class, & while it is not cardio, my heart-rate was definitely up the majority of the time. I've been wanting to try it since we joined, but figured I should spend my time on the treadmill getting ready for the race. So yesterday I jumped right in. As ryan pointed out last night, I probably could have done the class with NO weights & still gotten a good workout. However, I used weights (too much pride to wimp out in front of all those strangers!). I pretty much can't walk today. I'm waddling around like a pregnant woman & have to do deep breathing to get up & down the stairs. I think the only muscle group that is NOT sore is my biceps. Asher even kissed my booty this morning after I squealed in pain trying to stand up from a squatting position (got down to hug him & couldn't get back up, & my chest & arms are too sore to pull myself up).....He asked what hurt & I said, "mostly my booty" & he said, "I'll kiss it!" & i said, "no, that's ok, you don't need to kiss it" but as soon as I stood up & turned back to the sink (i was washing dishes), he got me.

Jenn's Official Cloth Diaper Rant

2007-03-16T21:32:00.000-04:00

I have had a few people ask about cloth diapers & have sent emails to others in the past, so for future inquiries I figured I’d just post a blog about it. Be forewarned, this is probably going to be an incredibly long post.

To start, let me give my reasons for LOVING cloth diapers.
1. I have NEVER (yes, never) had a “blow-out” in cloth. If you’ve had a newborn in disposables, you know what I’m talking about. That explosive poo that shoots up the back or front of the diaper, getting all over baby’s clothes, crib or momma. Never had it in any type of cloth diaper I’ve used, & EVERYTIME Grace pooped in a disposable during the first 3-4wks of life, we had a blow-out.

2. Cost. Plain & simple. To get started in cloth it will set you back a bit, but after a few months you will have re-couped the cost in most cases, but even with more expensive options before a year is up, you will have saved. If you add in multiple children, it’s like free diapers.

3. Environment. Disposable diapers take a large portion of landfills & are only used by a small percentage of the population. Don’t create a landfill with your kids’ name on it. Some argue about water usage &/or soap pollution. I don’t think that argument is incredibly valid…sorry I don’t remember my sources but if you’re really fighting that one, do some research & I bet you’ll be swayed. As far as soap, there are plenty of enviro-friendly options, even in typical name brands now (All-free, Tide-free, ect).

4. Sanitation. I know cloth seems unsanitary, but now that I use cloth & frequently change my kids, the idea of leaving them in a wet disposable grosses me out. However, they’re so absorbent it seems like a waste of money to change the diaper before it’s soaked. They are dry, but they’re still sitting in close contact to pee. That’s just gross.

5. Airflow. Depending on what type of cover you use, cloth is much more breathable than disposable, thus more likely to protect against chapped rashy skin. If you do have a rash problem, letting them run around in the diaper without a cover on is just as good as going naked, but with much less mess.

6. Chemicals. This one I’m less inclined to care about, but I have had disposables leave a mystery gel on my kid’s bottoms. It’s assumable non-toxic, but still….what is that?

7. Convenience. I know, I know. When I read it back when I was contemplating the switch, I laughed. However, especially with two kids, it is SO much more convenient to do a load of laundry when I unexpectedly run out of diapers, as opposed to making a trip to the store.

8. Last but not least, I promise it’s so much easier than I thought it would be. I even find myself looking forward to diaper washing day. I think it’s the ex-catholic in me. Much like confession, you dread it, but after it’s all said & done, you’re on a weird “feel-good” high.

I have tried 3 different brands of fitted diapers & will give short reviews on each. The One-Size “Stay Dry” Motherease Diapers is what I use.

First, some diaper lingo to get you started:

Diaper Cover: A waterproof cover to put over diapers so they don’t leak all over everything. There are lots of different kinds & materials, some folks are die-hard wool fans (they are the MOST breathable/natural, but require more work), others go for Gerber “plastic pants” (cheapest but least breathable). I’m not going to review covers except that I like the Mother-ease Airflow covers best. Have tried bummis (worked great, but not as breathable) & Gerber (HORRIBLE in my opinion). Never tried wool. Don’t plan to full-time diaper without 4 covers in each size (buy them as you need them though as some kids are born a size medium & others never make it to large before potty training). They typically come in preemie (p), newborn (nb), small (sm), medium (md), large (lg), & extra-large (xlg) depending on the brand of course.

Birdseye: I THINK this is what these are called…could be wrong. These are the super old-school large pieces of cloth that you fold up into rectangles in varying ways depending on the size of your baby & pin or snappi. They require a separate cover. Most inexpensive. I’ve never tried them, so no idea on absorbency ect.

Prefold: The next step up, these are rectangles with extra absorbency sewn in the middle, so you do not have to fold them up as much (hence, PREfold). You do have to fold them around the baby though, & pin or snappi them (google snappi if you don’t know what it is). These are the least expensive option out of the “commonly used” types of diapers. I highly recommend unbleached Chinese prefolds vs. Indian prefolds. The Indian are softer, but not as durable. There are lots of different brands & I have no idea on brands. Green Earth is a tremendously popular brand. I do not really like prefolds as I just can’t seem to figure out how to fold them to hold poop in. Pretty much anytime my kid’s poop in a prefold it gets on the cover (if you have a bunch of covers you might not care, having plenty to spare before wash-day). Not to mention it’s a learned skill that skeptical daddy’s might not be willing to learn. I did use them on Grace until she fit in the mother-ease one-size (so for about 2wks). They come in p, nb, sm, md, lg, xlg. Sizes. Separate cover required.

Fitted: No folding involved, just lie the baby down on it & snap or Velcro it together (depending on the brand). Most come in the usual sizes (sm, med, lg, xlg). The other option in fitted is “one-size”. The upside to a one-size is just that. You only buy one set of diapers for all of ‘diaper hood’. That is why I chose a one-size. Certainly much more cost-effective. The downside to one-size is that they are typically the bulkiest option. My kids definitely have to wear a size larger pant than in disposables. I used to be embarrassed by the “big booty”, but somehow along the way, stopped caring. Take note though, nearly all cloth diapers will be considerably more bulky than disposables. Just the way it goes. Another downside is that you likely won’t get as snug a fit. I do occasionally have “poop leakage”, but not every time, & I’ve NEVER had urine leak out (note that I’ve never had poop leak out of the cover onto the clothing, only onto the inside of the cover). I have tried One-size Motherease (http://motherease.com/) Dry-line (http://dry-line.com/) Crickette’s (http://www.crickettsdiapers.com/), & Kissaluvs (http://kissaluvs.com). Short reviews below. Separate cover required.

All-In-One (AIO): A fitted diaper that is sewn into a cover. These are the “easiest” to use as it’s just one step. Very “daddy” & day-care friendly. There are a couple brands that offer a one-size aio, but I’ve never tried them. The pros to these are pretty obvious, even as an avid fitted fan, I must admit aio’s are tempting. The cons are that they are by far the most expensive option, & the life of the diaper is diminished as you can’t abuse covers like you can the diapers. Since I’m not an AIO user, I don’t know for sure, but I have read reviews & it makes sense to me, that they are not as easily used for diapering multiple children. If you only plan to have one kid, then this might be the way to go, but if you want more, they might not live to see the 2nd or 3rd child. I will note though that the small size will likely go the distance as that size only lasts a few months at the most & during those first couple months before the baby’s sleeping through the night it could be worth the extra expense for aio’s. A lot of people recommend having a few AIO’s on hand for the diaper bag & babysitters if you’re really avid about cloth. I have tried Bumkins (size small) & really liked them, as they were so easy & crazy trim. They were nearly as trim as a disposable. However, they definitely require a doubler, as they actually leaked urine with Grace during a nap. They were also not as breathable as what I regularly use. No separate cover required.

Pocket Diaper: I’ve never tried these (or seen them in person) so I can’t really give much of an opinion & don’t totally understand how they work. From what I gather, they are very similar to an AIO, but for the absorbency you stuff a “pocket” with a special insert, or in some cases a prefold diaper all folded up. Tons of people really seem to LOVE Fuzzi Bunz, which is a brand of pocket diaper. Pocket diapers are in the expensive category as well. No separate cover required.

Doubler: Strip of diaper material that you lay inside a diaper to add more absorbency (i.e., “double” the absorbency). For heavy wetters or not so absorbent diapers, you use these with every diaper change. For Asher I used them almost all the time. For Grace I use them for naps, nighttime & if we’re out & about & I won’t likely change her for over an hour. For nighttime I use a small size prefold as a doubler.

Liner:
Fleece liners are a thin piece of fleece material that wicks moisture away from baby & draws it into the diaper, creating a “stay dry” barrier. These are great for times when the baby will be in the diaper for an extended time (naps, night-time ect.) and if baby has a rash. I use them most of the time for Grace. I no longer use them for Asher as he’s only in diapers for nighttime & naptime & I want him to be able to feel that he’s wet for potty training reasons.
Disposable liners are like a piece of thick toilet paper that you lay on the diaper that basically holds the poop so you can lift that piece off & throw it in the toilet. Makes cleanup easier. I have started using them for Asher….I don’t think it’s very economical, but 2-year old poop is extra gross & his aren’t the only diapers I’m dealing with right now.

Fitted reviews:
Crickette’s: Pros: Great snug fit/adjustability, trim fit, good absorbency & very soft (not plush, but soft to the touch). Cons: Skin feels quite wet in them, even with a fleece liner, take a long time to dry in the dryer, & rather expensive.

Dri-Line: Pros: Great snug fit, good absorbency. I can’t remember wetness as it’s been a really long time since I’ve used them. Cons: Velcro closure, which wears quicker than snaps. I don’t know what the cost is, the one I used was borrowed & didn’t looking into buying them.

Kissaluvs: Pros: Snug fit, really cute. Cons: Not great absorbency, the doubler is a MUST (these diapers are the only ones that have ever leaked urine onto clothing as the size 0 (newborn) is not big enough to fit a doubler). Take a long time to dry in the dryer.

NOTE ON ALL 3 DIAPERS ABOVE: they all 3 have a really great snug leg fit, that doesn’t let any poop escape, ever! However, this is due to a gusseted thin elastic in the legs, that seems to me will stretch out over time (I have definitely read reviews about this with the kissaluvs), especially if you line-dry them, which I like to do in the summer.

Motherease One-Size (I use the “stay dry” version): Pros: Good fit, great absorbency, decent wetness protection, affordable. Cons: Bulky, not super soft (but not scratchy), not a super snug leg-fit & if you use the "stay-dry" variety there is a polyester lining inside the diaper, some are opposed to non-natural fibers.

That’s it for the actual diapers. Here are some other tips:

Wipes: w/my cloth diapers I use cloth wipes. I find it easier, b/c then I don't have to make a separate trip to the trashcan just for wipes. Before Grace was born, I just used water, which I kept a little bowl next to the changing table, and baby washcloths (from the dollar store). It was kind of annoying b/c it would get REALLY cold (colder than normal wipes get), so I'd try to remember to go put warm water in it before putting Asher on the changing table, but that happened about once a day. so Asher learned how to say "cold!". Then I decided to try home-made pre-wet wipes (a tip in the "superbaby food" book), where you make up the wipe solution & put the cloth wipes in an empty disposable wipes container & pour the solution over it. They were ok, but again, really cold & hard to get the right amt. of wetness. Another tip I’ve read is to put the solution in a spray container then spray the cloth (or hiney) right before using it. however, I haven't tried it. instead, as a baby shower gift for Grace I received a wipe warmer & I put my wipes solution directly in that and dip each wipe before using it. so I get the perfect amt. of wetness (these wipe off sticky poop so much easier!) & they're nice & warm. You can buy “cloth wipes” off the internet but this just seems silly. The dollar store washcloths work great.

for my 'solution' I use 4cups water, 2TBS unscented baby-mild dr. bronner’s castile soap (or you can use 1TBS of any baby shampoo), & 10-20 drops of lavender (or tea-tree, though there are allergy warnings for this. That’s what I use with no problems) essential oil . This is a nice smell, plus anti-fungal so your water doesn't get moldy. For the essential oil you need to get it from a natural foods store or herb shop, make sure it's really essential oil not just scented massage oil or something. otherwise it won't have the anti-fungal properties. I have to make the solution about once a week. it takes all of 30 seconds.

I also do a 'dry pail' for the diaper pail. I use a diaper dekor+. I don't recommend the dekor. it's just what I had so that's what I use, plus Ryan prefers it as it is small & is rather ‘stylish’ for a diaper pail. Since I keep mine in the bathroom next to the toilet, it matters to Ryan what it looks like. It doesn't hold enough diapers & you have to buy special bags for it. It’s not really cost-effective or the most environmentally friendly option. I feel like the smell is either the same or less than disposable diapers b/c w/cloth you flush the poop down the toilet, so it's just a strong ammonia-type smell from the pee. but w/washing every other day I don’t notice a smell at all. When it was just Asher (and he was 14+ months, so less diaper changes) I washed every 3rd day...sometimes 4th. that got stinky. it's esp. easy with breastfed newborns (or babies that are exclusively breastfed, no solids). You don't have to flush that poop, it washes out in the washing machine (rinse cycle first). once they start eating food though you've got to flush it. A tip I’ve picked up off someone’s website is to use the washing machine as a ‘wet pail’. Between laundry days I will often empty my (too small) diaper pail into the washing machine, fill it up with cold water & add a cup of baking soda. Then I let it rotate for just a bit, to mix up the baking soda & let it sit until it’s time to wash them.

For washing instructions, you will find everyone has their own ideas & opinions on the best way. I would imagine it depends on your diapers, your water (hard or soft), the detergent & machine. Here’s what I’ve found works best for me: A cold water rinse, then Hot water wash with 3TBS of All-free & clear. If it’s especially stinky I will also add either 1/2 cup of baking soda or 10-20 drops of tea-tree oil. Then an extra rinse cycle with 1/2 cup vinegar. I NEVER dry my covers in the dryer or let them soak overnight in water!! Other "no-no's" are bleach on the diapers (messes with absorbancy & weakens the fibers) & fabric softner (creates a waterproof layer on the material, & puts chemicals on the diapers).

That’s just about everything I can think of. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations, you sure are patient. I believe you might have it in you to “go cloth”.

The Gym

2007-02-24T13:16:00.000-05:00

Hey, you on the treadmill.
Me?
Yeah, you. What in the world are you running from?
15lbs
oh.

Baby Pics

2006-09-20T09:07:00.000-04:00

Here's some pics of little Grace Burns. And one fun "contraction" pic. Thank You God for Ryan, my friend Erin & Leslie the uber-midwife. While it wasn't fun in the "day at an amusement park" way, it was actually kind of fun...except the last 45 min of course. That part was just painful. But it was only 45min. so no big deal (though if you asked DURING those 45 min. it would have been a slightly different response....think i even cussed once or twice which i haven't done in years). Born 8/30/2006 at 5:24pm.

11 days and counting

2006-08-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

Only 11 days till my due date...which means ANY DAY NOW. Que Emoncianante. In other news I've been reading Augustine's Confessions. I've really been enjoying it. It's not quite a "i think about it all day long and can't wait till I have a second to read" kind of book, but I have read, and wanted to read, it every evening for the past week or two. For a book written by a guy who was born over a thousand years ago, it's really quite good in that "fun to read" kind of way. Guess that would be due to the translator as well. Anyhow, I definitely recommend it. There was one line in one of the first few chapters where his mother was trying to convince some super smart priest to talk to Augustine (to try to convince him to believe), where the priest (who did not think a debate would help the state of Augustine's soul) said to her (I don't have the book in front of me, so this is Jenn's paraphrase), "Leave me, surely the son of these tears will not be lost". I tear up even thinking about it. That one got me. One of the big recurring themes in the book is how his mother continuously prayed for her son's salvation. Didn't come till he was like 32 or 33, but it did eventually come. Go mom.

success (in my opinion)

2006-07-22T10:58:00.000-04:00

just to update, asher is doing great. only a couple minor accidents in the past few weeks. so he really is daytime bladder trained. sweet. no more rashes.

in other news, i have just under 6wks to my due date. beginning to get a little anxious. ready for that new little ball of human to stare at. in the meantime, my shirts seem to have shrunk. my belly keeps trying to poke out from under them. those clothing people who say you stay whatever size you were pre-pregnancy, so only buy one size of maternity clothes are liars. in the beginning i wore a small (x-small in some cases), in the middle a medium, and now (for shirts anyway..not pants) i will be needing large. same thing happened last time. whoever they measured to come up with the 'one-size for the whole pregnancy' theory must also be those freakish people who lose all the weight after a month. those people are not cool. though some of them are my friends, in that area...not cool. i was just happy to do it in under a year (just barely).

in other, other news...now that the potty training thing is not so intensely taking up all my mind and energy...time to start a new book. any suggestions?

Decision

2006-07-12T13:48:00.000-04:00

I have decided that we are sticking with it. Asher no longer uses diapers, except naptime and bedtime (we'll deal with those later). He still has some accidents but it's getting less and less frequent, and a number of times he's told me he has to go, so that's encouraging. I would not say he's totally "potty trained" just yet, but it will be very soon, so I'm going to keep after it. Bowel training hasn't really sunk in yet either, but he's gone from having 5 a day to one or two, so I can handle that for now.

So in conclusion, I would not really recommend training so early unless you have a good reason to want to (such as, a new baby on the way and a little boy that gets rashes twice a week and screams through most diaper changes). You will need good motivation. If it weren't for that and all the cheerleading and support I got from other moms I definitely would have thrown in the towel 3 days into it. There was one day in particular that I was starting to 'meltdown' and was crying and frustrated and sat down to pray. Moments later a friend called to check in on me. Everything she said was so encouraging and helpful that I was actually excited to continue after naptime. God is merciful. I'm still not on the green side of the fence yet, but there's been so much improvement that I know it will not be much longer and it will be worth it to keep hanging in.

However w/baby #2, unless he/she walks up to me and says, "mama, i want to go on the potty", using a british accent, I will wait until at least 20 months, probably 24. I've talked w/a few folks who waited till their kid was 3 and it only took one day, but I'm not doing diapers on the same kid for 3 years. Who knows, maybe it's like childbirth and I'll forget the pain in a year or so, and will end up doing it early again. :o)

Days ...uh...how long has it been?

2006-07-10T12:52:00.000-04:00

So we're still at it. Yesterday (sunday) was an amazingly good day. He only had one accident, and we were out and about most of the day. Interestingly, the only accident was at home. Figures. He even peed in the potty for the nursery workers at church, and when we went out to eat afterward he was saying 'potty' (or pootay..) so i took him in at the restaurant and he went there. amazing. today...hit or miss. did fine while running errands but not so much at home. he seems to do better not at home. not sure what that's all about.

Right now i'm babysitting for a friend while she goes to a doctor appt. a 2 yr-old and i think a 4 month old. I forgot about the good old infant days when they just lay there and stare at you. Not to mention eat the "free food". Nice. Ryan's out of town at a conference in LA this week, so we're going up to Oma & Opa's tomorrow (till wed. evening) so the traveling should be interesting. only 1 1/2 hrs though, so not a big deal.

Days 4 & 5

2006-07-07T13:46:00.000-04:00

I don't have the counts from yesterday, but there were slightly more accidents than successes...almost equal. Today, we've had NO success prior to naptime, and i think we're both tired of the whole thing. Asher doesn't want anything to do with sitting on the potty today, or doing anything else that I want him to do for that matter. And i'm tired of following him around and entertaining him all day (think he's sick of that too, I think he misses his "alone time"). So it's a fun day. I'm sticking with it for now, out of sheer stubborness at this point, every other part of me is ready to just put diapers back on him. But i'm determined to make it to sunday at least before quitting (7 full days). I feel like my own aerobics instructor (one more time, ok, one more time, that's great, two more reps..). From what I hear from friends, I apparently can't expect too much success till another couple weeks, so it's just a matter of if i have the energy and patience to stick it out that long or not. At this point, i'm thinking probably not......but we'll see...."you can do it, one more set, that's right, kick....and lift..." Keep reminding myself that I am very pregnant and NOT wonderwoman (the outfit would look ridiculous at this point), so to give myself a little slack...and nap....

On the upside, the women in my church are really great. I've had quite a few call to check in on me to see how it's going and plenty of offers for diversions/company & prayer. It's nice to not be our own little island of a family.

Day 3

2006-07-06T14:05:00.000-04:00

i did not get the chance to blog last night b/c ryan needed the computer for some work, so here's yesterday's update:

Pee in the potty: 9 times out of 12, Poop: 0 out of 2.

Today we're having attitude problems, so it's been a bit stressful...doesn't help that I am at that "can't sleep well at night" phase in the pregnancy. I forgot about this stage...had it with Asher, but as with all other things pregnant, forgot about it. Thankfully I have a super-dad husband who rescued me from 12-1:20 and let me run out for lunch and some peace of mind. Pretty much the first time i've left the house since Sunday, so that was great. I also chatted with a friend/experienced mom (4 kids so far) and was greatly encouraged as to where Asher is at the moment. We will re-evaluate on Sunday whether or not he (and we) are able/willing to continue, or if we will hang up the big-boy pants for a later date. However, at the moment I am hopeful, though aware that he is a little guy and might be pushing the readiness.

Potty Training Days 1 & 2

2006-07-04T21:05:00.000-04:00

That's right folks. Potty training. Things that I just don't think about very often: the Dakotas (i forget about those states), washing my shins (i do shave though, so i figure that counts), and that humans have to be taught to use the toilet. Anyhow, it was suggested that i blog through this endeavor. I will do my best. However the method i have chosen leaves no free time while he's awake and during naptime I pretty much have to nap, most likely due to being 8 months pregnant while potty training a just barely 18 month old. So that leaves evenings. we'll see.

So the first question i realize is, "doesn't he turn 18months tomorrow?? isn't that kind of early for potty training?". My first thought is 'back in the day' most people apparently started around 18 months...my mom did it w/my older sister and I, and from other people around their age I hear similar stories. So it's been done. Second, My original plan was to wait till he was 2, unless he just seemed to be showing a lot of 'readiness signs', however it occurred to me that would mean potty training while nursing a 4-month old. Possible, but not ideal. I would have to stretch it out over a longer span of time, and I'm a fan of the "quick and painful" approach to most things. Just grin and bear it and get it over with already. So i figured, 'what the heck, let's give it a shot', and if he's not ready, then we'll go back to diapers in a week or so, and give it another try sometime after the baby comes. However, if it does work, and he is ready (he's shown some signs but certainly not all) then great, only one set of diapers to deal with come late august/early september. Even if he takes to it and reverts after his sibling comes, i won't have to totally retrain, just a refresher.

Now, if i had've written yesterday afternoon, I would have said, "I really don't think he's ready". He basically peed all over my house, didn't seem to notice or care that pee was running down his leg and HATED sitting on the potty. That was the longest day i've ever had. But i am determined to stick it out through Friday, if after Friday there's not much change, we'll chuck it for now. However, after discovering that I just bought a stupid potty seat that was too high and the bowl too small (think it was cutting off circulation), I called a friend and borrowed her "Baby Bjorn" one-piece potty seat. He happily sat right down in it and peed last night, so I am now an avid baby bjorn fan.

Today I have a sliver of hope. We only had 4 accidents (unfortunately 3 were poop related...super gross), and NO accidents after naptime. Of course most of this was because of timing, and not him prompting using the potty. I put him on the potty every 15-20 minutes ALL DAY long...literally. For at least 4 minutes at a time, but often he's willing to sit longer (we read books, play with toys or watch clifford dvd's). However, by this evening there were a few times that he went as soon as i sat him down. It seemed like he was beginning to connect that when he pees there, he gets a chocolate (well..carob) covered raisin. His special "potty treat". Basically just like training a dog.... anyway, from what friends who have done it (with little ones) tell me, by the third day it will really start to click and by friday he'll be peeing regularly in the potty. The other end of the training really seems to be kid by kid. Some kids have no problem with poop and others take 6 more months to really get it down. I've been praying for 'supernatural potty training', so hopefully Asher will be in the former catagory. We shall see. Regardless I feel like today was a success.

On a side note, to anyone about to take on the adventure, buy more than 6 pairs of training pants. That was another dumb uninformed purchase i made. Not dumb pants, just not enough of them.

Say a prayer for us if you think of it, and I'll check in with the highlights tomorrow.

Adventures in Poop Land

2006-05-23T13:51:00.000-04:00

So I have had 2 posts milling about in my mind the past couple weeks, one about a recently read book, another about some thoughts on sanctification, a topic i'm trying to study and get notes together to help with children's church curriculum....and i have yet to carve out time to sit and make those thoughts coherent enough to type out into cyberspace. So between not taking the time for that and my brain being over-run with silly things such as figuring out the best strategy for this whole cloth diapering thing (switched over a few weeks ago, no more rashes since the switcheroo) and wondering what it would be like to own my own milking goat (i have a nice list of pros and cons running, and it's not like this would ever actually happen so why am i wasting brain power on it??)....i doubt i'll ever get around to posting anything of real significance here... just thought you might like to know. but then again, you never know. we'll just have to wait and see.

in other news jen tucker called the other day asking me to sing a song to her that i wrote back in the day in the 'boro... reasonable request i suppose (she wanted to sing it to her husband but forgot the tune)...and i froze. it's been some time since i've sung out loud with the intention of others listening. how weird that i'm weird about that. she doesn't care if it sounds good or not, she just wanted the melody so she could pass it on. insecure/self absorbed much? so i called today and sang it for her on her voicemail. on that same vein (or vain really..) i started practicing my flute outside so asher could play in the yard and i could have something productive to do while he's playing. i find myself not practicing stuff i can't play b/c my neighbors are listening. Seriously, they're probably not even home. Geez.

one last short story, 'day in the life' style. After lunch i came downstairs with Asher Pants (new nickname) to play a little "soccer" with him, and had to change his diaper. so i went ahead and got him cleaned up, then left him bare-butt for a minute while i ran upstairs to get a clean diaper (seriously takes less than 1min). As i neared the stairs to come back down i heard him say, "uh-oh" and saw him backed up to the couch staring at the floor. As i came down the stairs he looked up at me and then at the floor again and said, "poo-poo". Ah yes, Asher the incredible poop machine....naked on my (off)white carpet. uh-oh indeed. it's all cleaned up and fine, so no worries. but the sad part of this story is that i found it cute.... not cute during the cleaning part, but the discovery was cute. My how things change.

My "Two Cents"

2006-04-19T09:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we found out the sex of baby burns #2. We did not find out with Asher (mostly b/c ryan didn't want to find out), and that did turn out to be fun, though slightly annoying for the impatient Jenn. I think the actual moment of delivery with him was a bit tainted b/c I opted for a dose of Nubain a few minutes before he was born (btw, my advice on that is don't do it, it helped earlier in labor to relax during contractions, but it doesn't really take pain away, just makes you calm and loopy, not a good thing for the pushing stage). So I was tired and a bit out of it. I don't think i even opened my eyes to look at him, but i do remember hearing them say it was a boy. i said, "i knew it was a boy! his name is asher". It was a fun though fuzzy moment. The main thing was knowing who it was, it was my son, Asher, and I got to hold him in my arms and cry and stare at him (once i was back from la-la land).

So yesterday I was excited to go and find out who this baby is. From what I've heard the moment at the ultrasound is just as special as the moment of delivery (though not sure if any of those people have had both experiences). When the moment of truth finally came, the ultrasound-tech pointed out the little legs and as soon as she did that I saw, and was pretty sure I knew. So she pointed out the legs, the bottom and viola, 'it's a ___'. It took a second to register and then my eyes welled up, and I felt the need to bawl a little. However I started to feel silly sitting in the little room staring at a monitor with this woman I don't know and crying. So I held it in. Wow...it's a ___.

As we left the hospital and walked toward our car we talked about it and were having fun, then it hit me as we pulled out of the parking lot. I started crying and had that moment of "I know who my baby is", however the baby was not in my arms and i was not staring at it or cuddling it or.... As annoying as it is to admit, I was wrong. It was just not as cool to know ahead of time.

As a disclaimer, I do not regret finding out. Mostly because there is no way I would've believed it was true. I tend to be a "have to learn for myself" kind of person (ask my parents, they'll attest to that). So it was great to have had the opportunity to experience both scenarios. There will certainly be upsides to knowing. I will be able to paint the kids' room(s?), and move Asher and/or ourselves(maybe) before the baby comes so there won't be any extra changes for Asher to get used to besides his little baby sibling. However, if we have a third I do not want to find out.

It will be interesting to see how it affects the moment of delivery. Since I will finally be able to hold little baby I know it will still be awesome and intense, just curious to see if it will feel any different. I'll let you know in August.

Reason 101 why I love my husband

2006-04-15T14:49:00.000-04:00

Last spring we were in Riga, Latvia for about 3 weeks. One morning while squished into a micro-bus ryan was standing among a group of young guys that seemed as though they might have been a little buzzed from the previous night's activities (though that is pure speculation, maybe they were just hyper jerks). After a few stops a young woman got on and squished in the front w/ryan and the guys. Not long after the bus got moving again one of the guys grabbed her butt. She promptly gave him a dirty look which they all found quite amusing. This happened again, and after awhile she stopped responding. So after maybe the 4th time, one of the guys was reaching for it yet again. Ryan looked at him and said, "cut it out man". No idea if they spoke english (although it seems like all of Latvia is tri-lingual...even older folks so the odds are good), but they got the gist. There was a tense moment of wondering if he was about to be hit or not. However, they got off at their stop, which thankfully was not ours, and went on their merry womanizing way. My hero.

Baby's First E.R. Visit

2006-03-06T14:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Asher was sick. He threw up all day, so that by 5pm we ended up having to take him to the ER to get I.V. fluids. Poor little man. He was a trooper. Here's the pics we got of the event (always feel slightly 'bad parent'-ish taking such pics, but it's a milestone in life). So here is asher's first ER visit:

Peter Pan

2006-02-24T14:27:00.000-05:00

On wednesdays and thursdays i babysit two little girls. One is 4 and the other is...20 months(?)ish. The older one (hanna) goes to preschool until noon so from 8:30-12:00 it's just asher and maggie. They play together really well. maggie calls asher 'boy', which i think is really cute. Lately she has started actually saying his name, interchanging it. sometimes she uses boy and others it's asher (or acher). I was a little sad when she started using his name for some reason. I think i had this whole scenario played out in my mind where that would be her little nickname for him and when they grew up the would get married and I would talk about how when they were babies i used to watch maggie and that's when the 'boy' nickname developed. Then asher would 'bonk' her head with affection when the minister said, "you may now kiss the bride" (he prefers to bonk forheads as a sign of affection in leui of kissing and hugging, though he does kiss and hug as well). Not that i really want asher to marry maggie, a bit too young for matchmaking, but it makes a cute story.

"These are a few of my favorite things.."

2006-02-20T13:37:00.000-05:00

It seems strange to me how I can so clearly remember some events from my life, and others that may not have happened that long ago, are very blurred. Today I was thinking about two ‘days’, that rate pretty high on my list of favorite days of all time…

The first is one of those not so distant memories that is for some reason, fuzzy. How can a favorite day be fuzzy you ask? I don’t know. I think that this “day” was actually more of a week. It was when ryan and I moved up to Richmond, about 2 ½ yrs ago. The whole process was so fun and exhilarating. Possibly because I had been living in a small town that I didn’t hate, but didn’t like TOO much for 6 years, which is the longest I’d lived anywhere, ever. So to finally be moving again was a great adventure. It was also the first time we’d been off totally on our own, going to a new place where we really didn’t know anyone (ok, we knew Pastor Doug, but for some reason he doesn’t count…sorry Pastor Doug). Us against the world or something like that. That whole first week felt very romantic. Neither of us had jobs at the time, and we wanted to take the first week to settle in before looking for jobs, so we drove around Richmond getting to know the city, went rock climbing a good bit, and decorated our apartment. Since we didn’t know anyone we just hung out together. It was sort of like a second honeymoon. He’s the best to be on adventures with.

The second day, is actually a day. I had asher on a Wednesday and we came home that Friday. Not too long after we got home my mom came to stay for a week (and ryan’s mom came for a few days as well), which was great b/c we were both kind of thinking, “who decided that we’re fit to be alone with this little human??” (well, at least I was). I couldn’t even change the kid’s diaper for the first few days (I was afraid to touch the sore little….well, the circumcision was a little more traumatic for me than I expected). So it was nice to have an experienced person around. After that week was over my mom went home. I feel sort of choked up even thinking about it. I remember crying really hard as she drove away, slightly scared, slightly excited. For the fist time I was alone with my baby (ryan had gone back to work). After I got over the shell shock, I had a really lovely afternoon. I didn’t put him down for one of his naps (I was a schedule nazi in the beginning, which I will be again with #2, but I cheated every now and then) and just ‘spoiled’ him (and myself) by holding him the whole time, enjoying our first day alone together.

My space

2006-02-20T12:10:00.000-05:00

so I jumped on the myspace bandwagon recently. kinda fun. I've decided not to pay much attention to having local 'friends', but using it to find/keep in touch with old lost friends. So far I have 'chatted' with two long lost friends from college and left a message for a friend from my senior year of high school (in seoul korea) who just happens to be going to VCU right now! crazyness. I felt silly at first starting the profile, but it's fun to find old friends. Seriously though, if you live in richmond and i am currently friends with you, please don't be offended that I won't add you to my friends list. Since I (theoretically) see you (whoever you may be), I don't need to keep up with you there.

In other news, if you haven't checked out my husband's blog recently, his "urban renewal" post has become my new favorite. Makes me laugh. he's good at blogging. :o)

The voice of the Lord or leftover pizza?

2006-02-03T14:39:00.000-05:00

fun story of the week: With this pregnancy (i am approx. 9 1/2 weeks along now btw) I have been having a bit more trouble with nausea and vomiting than i had with asher. I've tried a few things, none that really seemed to do much. I talked to my midwife (who's not actually my midwife yet but that's a long story that doesn't really matter here) a few weeks back and one of many suggestions was to take vitamin B6. I tried all the other stuff and for some reason forgot about B6. So on monday we went to the o.b. where she quickly started to prescribe 3 medications for the nausea. Since i'm not losing weight and mostly just irritated, i declined the prescriptions, however one was for a B6 vitamin. I thought to myself, "oh yeah, B6." So i decided that i would go to ellwood's (natural food store) the next day to see what they had in the way of B vitamins.

That night I had a dream that I went to ellwood's and ended up buying bee pollen instead of a vitamin. Interesting. So the next morning I got up, emailed my friend erin about the dream, then typed 'bee pollen' into my google box in the toolbar. Turns out it has lots of B vitamins in it. Also read that it's safe to take during pregnancy (some people apparently take it in lieu of prenatal vitamins...not sure on that one...) also double checked w/the midwife and she gave the ok. So on to ellwood's i went and found a huge selection of bee pollen options, picked one and ever since have been feeling much better.

Now, today i've been a bit queasy, and gagged over the stinky trash this afternoon but still better than i had been the past month. In fact the first day i started taking it I cooked dinner for pretty much the first time in two weeks. amazing. I suddenly feel so 'spiritual'.....God's sending me dreams.

I do remember one other such dream that was obviously divine help, but for a much less pressing problem. It was...not sure how many years ago (4?) when ryan & I first got into rock climbing in the coastal plain of Georgia. So we climbed indoors. Anyhow, there was this problem (lingo for pattern of 'rocks' on the wall) that I was having a hard time figuring out how to do (i kept trying to climb it the same way my 6 foot 2 inch husband was). I think i had been working on it for two weeks, when one night i had a dream i was climbing it, and turned my foot a specific way when i got to the crux (tricky area) and finished the climb. So the next time i tried the climb i turned my foot in that wierd way, which caused me to be able to stand up completely to reach the next hold, and ended up being able to muscle through the rest of the climb. Now why in the world did God bother to tell me how to finish that climb? Maybe He was tired of me taking "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" out of context and wanted me to be done with it already. Or maybe He's just nice.

I probably don't know you

2006-01-25T11:12:00.000-05:00

the other day I went to walk through a puddle and fell in waist-deep,
and I heard of a boy who dove in head first just to find out it wasn’t so steep.

it’s so hard to tell how deep it can be
but it takes so long to wade in slow, making sure I really see what I see.

I don’t want to stop to see whether it’s shiny from oil or from sun,
guess that’s another downside to our microwave generation.

no more suspense

2006-01-21T10:25:00.000-05:00

so i know all my faithful readers (all one of you) are dying to know about pudu. I forget exactly the definition....i believe it's a not nice way to say 'poop'. it is from the first starwars the little mean cigar smoking flying bug guy that owned anakin said it in his language during the race or something. and no, i'm not a star wars fan, i just thought 'pudu' was funny. it has become a running joke with my friend terrace who i saw that movie with....we will always have 'pudu'. it was also a train station in 'entrapment'. i guess a city in europe somewhere (?)

baby machine

2006-01-18T20:49:00.000-05:00

just felt then need to post that i am pregnant with burns baby #2. I have no profound words about it, but i am very happy. motherhood is way more and way better than i ever expected.

Pudu

2005-12-18T07:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes in life, you just have to say, "pudu". 20 points to anyone who knows what that means and where it came from.

cooking

2005-11-08T15:04:00.000-05:00

i just finished making whole-wheat buttermilk (or yogurt in this case) biscuits using beef lard leftover from making beef stock. no way a year ago i would've believed that i would be not only making biscuits from scratch but using lard, and lard that i "made" and keep in my fridge. ...strange strange world...

good biscuits though.

remember that time?

2005-09-13T11:54:00.000-04:00

once when i was in 6th grade, my younger sister (in the 3rd grade) and i were playing a game. in school she was learning the names of all 50 states, so i was quizzing her. she had to guess which state i was thinking of that started with the letter "A". After having gone through all the "A" states she could think of, exasperated, she gave in, "what state is it?" With a big proud, "i'm so smart" smile i replied, "ArKansas"

That is the day I discovered that "Arkensaw" and "Ar-Kansas" are actually one in the same. Believe it or not I placed in the top ten in the school-wide spelling bee that year (i like to think it was 3rd place, but my memory might be trying to make me smarter than i was). Must not have had names of states in the contest.

so my sisters do still like to bring that one up on occasion. always a good laugh. almost as good as my "meat story".

no sleep

2005-09-12T10:25:00.000-04:00

new rule: no starbucks before Paideia....ever.

won't be able to skip the final

2005-09-09T15:05:00.000-04:00

i wish i had all the big words to stuff in all the holes to fix those leaks. i have words, but rarely the right ones in retrospect. so i should probably not use those words. usually i do anyway.

big opinions with little facts.

i like to be spiritual and think that He will use my wrong words in the right way. i'd prefer Him to use the right words in the right way...that'd probably be better in the long run. well...if i didn't get concieted of course, which would probably be the case. and so the class continues. i sure would like to go ahead and finish this particular course...i wonder if that's possible?

Big Love, Little Love, and Puppy Love.

2005-08-03T15:10:00.000-04:00

where'd you go?

2005-08-03T07:18:00.000-04:00

remember when i was going to be a blogger???